Tag: life

VIOLENCE

The question was asked, “A wha happen dey a PM yesaday?” “Two pickanega dey a fight and one get tab up!” The conversation overheard in the checkout line at a popular supermarket. The follow-up question, “Lawd fada a wumek them tap so?” After hearing the news about school violence, it is very natural for students, parents and teachers to worry. What if something like this happens again? What if it were my closest friend? What if it were my son or daughter? And what if it resulted in a fatality? The most important question, why does school violence happen?

Violence is behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something. It is the strength of emotion or of a destructive force. When something like this happens, it is normal to have feelings of sadness and anxiousness and it is normal to want to figure out why the situation ended in this way.

Violence isn’t readily easy to understand and figure out. There is no one reason as to why students become violent at school or in general. Reasons may include repeating behaviors that are seen and frequently done at home, maybe something seen on the streets, in a popular movie, T.V. show or videogame. It may be the result of someone who is suffering from a mental health problem and it may also be the result of bullying. The bullied trying to reassert his/her value and worth by doing to someone what was done to them. It might be that someone was feeling isolated and rejected by their fellow students and it might be that someone was just having a bad day, week, month or year and that was their breaking point. These are just a few reasons why someone might be violent at school and there are still many, many more. There is however one thing we can say about school violence, weapons make it easier for someone to lash out against the things or people they don’t like and because of this school violence is scarier than we expect.

What can we do to help prevent school violence? We can look for the warning signs. Whether it be seeing someone with a weapon in their backpack, noticing the violent games and movies they seem to always talk about. Sometimes it’s as easy as overhearing a conversation about possibly committing a violent act on another student like bullying or making threats in simple non-conflict situations. Cruelty to animals is also a good indicator of a violent person as well. When someone seems to be showing these signs, it’s a good idea to get an adult involved like a teacher, parent, the school’s counselor and or the principal. Students who are violent need the extra help and support and reporting someone like this could be the best thing for them.

Remember, school safety and support is everyone’s responsibility and priority.

Let’s Talk Dirty

“EMOTIONS- Taking me over”

Emotions, they’re messy, complicated and above all sometimes overwhelming. However, we all feel and express them, but are we doing so the correct way? Emotions by definition are strong feelings that derive from circumstances, moods, or relationships we have with others. They’re also instinctive or intuitive feelings distinguished from reasoning or knowledge. In lay-man’s terms emotions are basically our inner feelings towards our situations, and we all have them.

The six basic emotions that are usually accepted for us to express are Happiness, Sadness, Fear, Anger, Surprise and Disgust, but there are so many other emotions that it’s sometimes hard to keep track and explain what we’re feeling when we’re feeling it. When we show these emotions, we do so in different ways and at different times and sometimes two or more together. Here me out! I can start my day off right, all happy, cheerful and optimistic ready for whatever may come my way. I’ve got the right books in my Sprayground for a good day’s work (Yeah right, you know it’s my shoebox with my cleaning supplies for my Suede Clarks), and I’ve even got my lucky pen, you know the one that makes my writing look good maybe a binder-sheet or two. Then, all of a sudden, I’m in a “bad mood” because that one person that always a violate looked at me in assembly when Greene a chat. Now my whole day’s ruined, the teacher asking me for homework she know she didn’t give me, I lost the $50 I had in the back of my phone case and “ma partna” just lub man! All of this happening before 3rd period and on top of that Ms. King don’t want to tell us what school meal have today. Whew! Now that’s A LOT and I don’t even know what I’m feeling at this point.

With all these emotions one has to find a way to ground one’s self, meaning… Jus cool, ya check? So, here’s how:

  1. Ask myself the most important question first.
    1. Do I know what I’m feeling? Knowing and understanding what you’re feeling is the easiest and safest way to know what your options are and what your next move should be. It’s the difference between getting back to your happy place and being in detention with the Principal. Taking a moment to check in with yourself about your mood can help you begin to regain control.
  • Regulate don’t Repress.
    • You can’t control your emotions with a dial (if only it were that easy!). But imagine, for a moment, that you could manage emotions this way. You wouldn’t want to leave them running at maximum all the time. You wouldn’t want to switch them off entirely, either. When you suppress or repress emotions, you’re preventing yourself from experiencing and expressing feelings. When learning to manage your emotions, make sure you aren’t just sweeping them under the rug. Healthy emotional expression involves finding some balance between overwhelming emotions and no emotions at all.
  • Accept your emotions, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
    • Accepting emotions as they come helps you get more comfortable with them. Increasing your comfort around intense emotions allows you to fully feel them without reacting in extreme, unhelpful ways.
  • Take a deep breath!
  • Slowing down and paying attention to your breath won’t make the emotions go away but it can help you ground yourself and take a step back from the first intense flash of emotion and any extreme reaction you want to avoid. So next time you might want to try these steps:
    • Breathe in slowly…Hold it (don’t pass out)
    • Mantra- tell yourself “I am calm, I am relaxed.”
    • Breathe out slowly…Smile. You’re doing fine.
  • Know when to express yourself.
  • There’s a time and place for everything, including intense emotions. “Bawling murda” crying uncontrollably is a pretty common response to losing a loved one, but would you do that if a mosquito bit you? Being mindful of your surroundings and the situation can help you learn when it’s OK to let feelings out and when you might want to sit with them for the moment.

Now, this doesn’t mean that overnight you’ll be perfect at handling emotions. As we see in some of the adults still walking around with “screwface” from childbirth, it takes time. But, if you’re ready to put in the effort to know how to keep your emotions in check, then you’ve already taken the most important step.

Try to keep it clean, try to keep it classy, but Let’s Talk Dirty!